One of the scariest things about entering into a sexual relationship is the threat of infection or disease. There is no way of looking at another person and knowing their sexual history. In many cases you have to have faith. You must trust that they are honest and that the two of you are entering into the relationship with the promise to sleep with only each other.
However, in today’s world of modern medicine and quick results, testing for sexually transmitted infections is far easier than you would think. Asking your partner to get tested might be not be as easy. If you are interested in being safe beyond condoms and birth control then you need to ask, even if it’s a difficult thing to do.
You should be arriving at this conversation at a time when you know your partner well enough that you can broach the subject in a way that they will understand. People are not Volvo models and do not all respond the same way. If you don’t know your partner well enough to know the proper way to talk to them about this, you should rethink entering into a sexual relationship with them.
You have to be willing to ask of yourself what you ask of your partner. Asking your partner to get tested is perfectly acceptable, but you must be willing to be tested. The big benefit of this approach is to make sure your partner knows that this isn’t about them, but the both of you. If they want the same things that you want then they should be willing to make sure they are clean.
If you are met with hesitation understand that it could be coming from a place of fear or hurt, but either way it’s no reason to back off. You both must be tested, if for nothing else, than for piece of mind.
