Everyone wants a little excitement from the sexual relationship. Maybe you are in a relationship and you have reached a bit of a slump where the fires don’t seem to be burning as bright as they used to. Maybe you have been thinking, with the help of your partner, on how to spice up the romance. Maybe you have made the very big decision to bring a third person into the bedroom and give you sex a little more excitement. While no one can know for sure how such an event will go, you should caution against it. There is no reason to invite another party into the bedroom for a couple of reasons.
If you are making the decision to have someone join you in the bedroom because your sex is lacking a flare or excitement these days, you have different issues than needing a third party. The problem you seem to be having may be one within the relationship and that needs to be fixed by you are your partner and done without another person.
You and your partner share an intimate bond when you have sex. It’s about feelings you have built for each other and a caring you have for each other every time you have sex. Inviting another person to share in that intimate bond cheapens the bond itself. It’s a very difficult thing to remain true and intimate when there is someone else in bed with you. You have spent a long time building that bond it would be a shame to watch it diminish in one night.
No matter how much you discuss the possible pitfalls and issues in having sex with a third person, nothing can prepare you for how you might feel afterward. A lot of things can happen during a sexual encounter that change the opinions someone had before going into it. Even if you have a long talk after sex there is a chance that things between you and your partner could be altered forever. Is any fun and exciting thing in your bedroom worth that risk?
Playing different games to keep your sex life vigorous and active is an essential component to keeping one’s interest in their partner at a high level. When the bedroom reminds one of boring times and monotony, or is thought of more as a place to sleep than a place to have fun, things need to change for the better, quickly, before they take a turn for the worse. There are many ways to express oneself in a healthy manner to their partner. Virtually any effort put forth will merit a decent response. Overcoming shyness or inhibition is the real key.
An easy way to look at the topic of introducing new things in bed, from role playing to a new position, is that if you’re mature enough to have sex in the first place, you’re mature enough to raise these points of interest. The bedroom isn’t really a place to be inhibited, as you’re often in there with no clothes on in the first place, at least when your partner is available. Role playing is popular because, like Halloween, it allows people to act as a character whom they identify with, rather than being themselves. A lot of people enjoy this, since the act of acting frees their minds from worry about judgment.
Introducing your interest in trying a new sex position can be handled in a number of ways. It can be posed as a question, which can be awkward if you and your partner spend more time talking about getting taxes done with free efile than you do in mentioning topics involved with personal satisfaction. Going over a picture book together can be fun and stimulating, and it’s easy to point at what interests you without having to say too much. And last, there is the simple method of just surprising your partner by moving them naturally into the position from another one.
Look, couples know that if they want a sexy marriage they need to have sex. They understand the need for intimacy in a relationship and how it can make a couple feel closer. But what a lot of couples fail to remember is that foreplay is just as important to a sexual relationship as intercourse itself. And this goes for both men and women.
There are a number of couples who have been together for many years who begin to see the acts of foreplay as a chore, but for those people they are missing the bigger picture. Foreplay itself, when giving pleasure other than through traditional intercourse, can be seen as a loving act of giving. There is a beautiful expression in this that your partner can appreciate.
Often times sex can be rushed, making both parties feeling a little unfulfilled. The rushing can also make them feel as if they are being used. The presence of foreplay before, during, or even after sexual intercourse can be seen as an act of pleasing and eliminate feelings of rushing or being unwanted.
Foreplay can also be a great way to spice up sex in a relationship. Couples are not immune to going through slumps where they are not having sex or not feeling in the mood to have sex. An unexpected round of foreplay, even if just for a short period of time can let their partner know that they are thinking of them. This can also be the gateway to a return gesture of foreplay later on.
For men, the commitment to foreplay can be key in getting the woman in your life to achieve climax or orgasm. Some women do not achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration but can achieve it through clitoral stimulation. Therefore, performing oral sex as foreplay and focusing on the clitoris can be a great way to help your woman climax. This will also making any sex directly following the orgasm that much more intense for you and the woman herself. Foreplay is about selflessness which is key in any relationship.
Marriages, more so than any other stage of a relationship, are prone to slumps in sexual activity. This can lead both people to feeling unwanted or undesirable. This can cause a strain on the marriage and the communication within the bond. However, perhaps the hardest obstacle to overcome is finding ways to get back on track when you have both discovered your are in slump. While there is no fool proof method for spicing up a marriage, these are just a few helpful suggestions to put the spice back into a once spicy sexual relationship.
Taking a trip to the local adult store can be a great way to spice up a romance. Take a little money from the entertainment portion of the monthly budget and spend some time shopping at an adult store. This is a great way to not only get the brain focused on having sex and being intimate with your spouse. Plus you may find out something you both like that you weren’t aware of before. Perhaps it’s a piece of clothing or a lotion or oil.
Taking a romantic evening to yourself can be all you need to ignite the fire in a marriage. Most married couples have kids and those kids are a 24 hour a day job. Sometimes the simple opportunity to leave the kids with the grandparents or a friend for the night can be enough to spice things up. So take the opportunity to get out of the house for a night and head to a hotel. A change of scenery in the nice environment of a hotel can reignite the flame. Make it a chance for the ultimate date night and take your time to explore some of the purchases you made at the adult store.
Sex in a marriage, especially when you are in a marriage slump is simply about a change of scenery. Your life is hectic and sometimes doing something out of the norm is all you need to make a boring sex life into the sex life you fondly remember.
Sex is full of important decisions for the two people involved. For those of you in a monogamous relationship, there can occasionally be a decision to bring in a third party into your sex life. While it is not the norm, it does happen and it should not be a decision which is entered into lightly. But if you are careful in your planning then it can be a situation you end up enjoying and feeling good about afterwards.
The important thing to do is have a ton of dialogue with your current partner about why you both are arriving at the decision to invite another person into the relationship. It’s important for you both to be upfront about your fears and more importantly your expectations.
Defining your expectations isn’t just about making your partner aware of how often you would like to invite someone into the bedroom (meaning if this is just a one-time occurrence or not) but rather how you expect the night itself to go. What do you envision happening? How do you envision your partner enjoying the experience? And both of you should be fully aware that the possibility of bringing someone in could cause difficult feelings in the relationship even if you have planned for all the eventual problems.
The person you decide to invite in needs to be someone that you and your partner both agree to and are comfortable with. They need to be someone who is understanding of what you both expect and what you are looking for. It’s more important that you find someone who you are comfortable with than someone who tips the scales in the attraction department.
Another important aspect of inviting a third person into your relationship is that once the night or occurrence is over to have a long and thorough talk with your partner about the entire event. Ask them questions about how they felt and what was going through your head. And don’t plan to do anything again for a while, even if you both seemed to enjoy it. Things can change quickly.
When it comes to sex, there are all kinds of issues that can surround it. How much time you have, whether you’re tired or ill, stress, and other factors can affect how much sex you have and how much enjoyment you take from it. The stress of a job is significant, but marital stress can be even more important. Most people don’t want to have sex with someone that they’re angry or upset with, so marital tension can lead to a lot less sex. That lack of sex can also lead to more marital tension, so the entire thing becomes a vicious circle that’s hard to break out of.
Another reason for less sex in a marriage can come from child rearing. It takes a lot of time and energy to take care of a child, and if you have more than one in the house you know that your ‘alone’ moments are going to be limited. Most couples adapt to this because they understand that it’s part of life and they get so much joy from having children. For other couples, though, it can lead to fighting and other problems. One partner or the other might feel put-upon, or like too much time is being spent with the child and not as a couple.
No matter what the reason for the strife, it’s very important that you try to work through it. If you’ve done everything and there’s simply no way to repair the damage to the marriage, then you’ll need to look at issues like child custody and divorce. They aren’t always pleasant subjects, but they’re often better than living in a very unhappy marriage and letting the children see that all throughout their lives as they grow up. If you’re considering a divorce, talk to a professional about divorce and custody issues, to keep things as amicable as possible.
By the time many children reach their teenage years they already know a lot more about sex than their parents would like. However, that doesn’t mean that all of the information they have is correct and complete. Unless they got the information from a reputable and unbiased source, there are likely some inaccuracies that should be addressed. If they talk only to their friends, they’re going to get rumor and opinion, not truth. If they talk to people who only believe in abstinence, they’re going to get a one-sided argument. To avoid those kinds of problems, it’s very important to talk to your teen about sex and be open and honest.
You have an opinion, and that’s understandable, but simply forbidding your teen to have sex won’t likely make a good impression. If you don’t want your teen having sex, you have to legitimately show why it’s a poor choice – and then you’ll want to think about providing information for a teen who chooses to have sex anyway. If your teen chooses not to abstain, you don’t want to have to worry about things like pregnancy and disease. It’s better to make sure that teens can make smart choices, even if they choose to be sexually active.
Sexual health isn’t just about using a condom, or about abstaining from sex entirely. With that in mind, be sure to talk to your teen about other forms of sexual activity and how they can be dangerous. You don’t want your teen getting sick from something they didn’t realize was putting them at risk. They also need to know about all of the pregnancy myths out there and how many of them are real versus fiction. Those pieces of information are what teens really need to know about sex.
The Canadian population is a little more open about their sexuality than their puritanical neighbors to the south. The Canada 411 is they have sex more often than we do (on average, 4 times a week instead of our 3), and they seem far more open to talking about it (admitting their numbers of partners more often than not where Americans tend to “abstain” from answering more often). Overall, it seems like a lovely place to be if you happen to have a healthy libido. And if you don’t, at least you can live vicariously through a population of people who seem to have no problem expressing themselves.
But what makes Canadians more sexual than people in the United States? Perhaps it’s the cold weather up there. In many parts of Canada, temperatures can easily get below zero six months out of the year. If it were that cold down here, maybe people would be a little more apt to snuggle up and try to generate some body heat. Or maybe it’s the fact that the population of Canada is fairly small compared to that of the United States. Considering the fact that the US has over 300 million people, and Canada has roughly 14 million, they have an awful lot of catching up to do.
Canada is a place not so much different from us in many respects. They aren’t losing their homes, they don’t have health insurance companies, but otherwise they live lives very similar to our own. Maybe the main difference in our sex drives and openness toward our more lusty desires is the fact that Canada is still a part of the British Empire. While they have their own government and are almost completely independent, the Canadians do still live under the Crown, and carry some of the less stringent sexual beliefs that are prevalent in Europe. Or it might be something else.
If you’re sexually active, it’s very important that you think about your partner and not just yourself. That’s especially true if you’re at any kind of risk for a sexually transmitted disease (STD). A lot of people assume that they’re clean, but they never get tested. That could mean that they’re passing something along to the people they share their bed with during their life, and sometimes there really aren’t any symptoms. Don’t take the lack of symptoms for good sexual health – go and get tested and make sure that you don’t have anything that you could give to others.
Even simple, easily-cured problems can become serious if they aren’t treated promptly. Some STDs are ‘silent’ in showing that they’re attacking your body, but they can cause infertility and cervical cancer in women, and can cause problems in men, too. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner about his or her sexual health before you become intimate. People who really care about you and aren’t just looking for a partner for a night will be willing to talk about things like their sexual history. They should also be willing to get tested, as should you, if you (or they) feel that it’s necessary.
People who aren’t promiscuous can still have an STD, because it only takes one person to cause it. If you were faithful to your last partner but he or she wasn’t faithful to you, you could have gotten something that way, too. Don’t take chances with your sexual health, or the health of someone that you care for. Make sure that you’re clean and healthy, and make sure that your partner is also clean and healthy. If you suspect (or find out about) any infidelity, get yourself tested so you know where you stand.
If you’re not sleeping in a comfortable bed, it’s possible that your sex life is suffering, too. While it could be argued that it won’t be enjoyable to make love in a bed that’s not comfortable, that’s not the main issue. The main problem is that a bed that isn’t right for you will keep you from sleeping well. If you don’t sleep well, you’re liable to feel tired and run down through most of the day. When you get a chance to go to bed at night, you just want to sleep. Sexual activity isn’t as interesting to you when you’re already exhausted.
Some people feel as though they’re tired all the time, and they aren’t sure why they feel that way. They don’t realize that their bed is uncomfortable and they just aren’t sleeping well. If they discovered the problem they could easily remedy it, and they’d have a lot more energy throughout the day. By feeling tired a lot, you’re missing out on some of the best things in life – including enjoying sexual activity with your partner. You may want to consider getting a new mattress, or replacing your entire bed, with something that’s more comfortable.
That’s especially important if you’ve had the bed you currently use for a long time. Mattresses and box springs don’t last forever. Even with good warranties, there are times that these items need to be replaced. If the mattress doesn’t get flipped and/or turned properly, it won’t last as long as it’s supposed to – and most people don’t worry about taking things back or trying to contact the company for a warranty on a mattress or box spring. They probably didn’t keep the receipt, so the easiest thing is to replace it. Try that, and see if it doesn’t improve your sleep and your sex life.
