A Bed Net

Have you noticed the number of celebrities who are claiming to suffer from “sex addiction” these days?  “Sex addiction” has become a very popular excuse for many men’s failures to stay committed to one person in their lives, namely their wives.

And why not? Every magazine on the racks at the grocery stores screams “Sex! Sex! Sex!” Every magazine and online classes are telling women how to have a better time in the bedroom, how to “please” her man in 10,000 different ways.  Not to mention that each and every woman can learn how to do this in 30 seconds, of course.

Whether or not it’s true what the magazines are touting doesn’t even enter the equation for some reason.

So is everyone really surprised when it’s announced that Tiger Woods claims to be addicted to sex? Are the women around the country really surprised when a man who has everything, including an amazingly beautiful wife, can’t keep his hands off other women?

Not really. No one seems to be surprised by these stories anymore. Everyone seems to be disappointed when two people turn out to be faithfully and happily married.  Everyone seems disappointed when a wife remains faithful to her husband, or vice versa.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t it be that everyone is shocked when someone cheats? Or has society dropped so far off the morality radar that sex is no longer considered a personal, private activity?

Perhaps the nation should erect monuments to celebrities who have slept with great numbers of women. But then, if that was acceptable, the male celebrities wouldn’t be claiming “sex addiction,” would they?

So perhaps society’s sense of right and wrong regarding when to have sex is still intact. Perhaps the women across the country should consider it a good thing that celebrities are claiming “sex addiction,” since this means they still have some awareness that they have broken a promise of good faith with their wives.

From time to time, some people lose their interest in sex. There can be several reasons for this, and it does seem to happen to women more often than it does to men. No matter what age bracket you’re in, whether you have a current partner, or which gender you are, there are things you can do in order to get your sexual interest back. The first thing you should do is visit your doctor to rule out a medical problem. Some health problems can really kill your sex drive, and it’s important to rule them out before you do anything else. Once you’ve been given a clean bill of health physically, assess your mental health. Problems like depression and anxiety can also make you lose interest in sex.

If you’re depressed or having problems with anxiety or panic attacks, seeing a therapist for a few sessions may help you regain some perspective. There are also medications you can take to improve these conditions – although some of them can lower your sex drive. Be sure to steer clear of medications with this side effect, if you’re already struggling in that area. Also, talking with your partner can help. Maybe there’s something else in your relationship that’s causing you to feel too overwhelmed or tired for sex very often. Perhaps there’s a problem that you’re not dealing with, or something about your partner that’s turning you off to the idea of having sex.

While it might be difficult, the best thing you can do for your sexual relationship is to be open and honest with your partner. If there’s a large issue, this can be very hard to deal with. If there are smaller issues that your partner won’t see as significant, it might be hard for him or her to understand why you put such importance on something that might seem meaningless to someone else. Put those fears aside and choose to be open and honest, anyway. Once you talk things out, you may come to resolutions that will spark your interest in each other once again.

When people think of sexually transmitted diseases they usually think of teenagers and young, college-aged kids. That used to be the biggest demographic when it came to STDs, but now the prevalence of them is rising among older people, too. As people live longer, some of them end up widowed – and still interested in being sexually active. Because they really didn’t have to worry about STDs when they were  younger, and they don’t have to worry about pregnancy at their advanced ages, they don’t really think much about condoms. With that being the case, STDs are starting to spread among them – and a lot of them don’t even realize there’s a problem until they start to experience symptoms, by which time they may have spread their STD to other people, who have then passed it on.

Older people need to become more educated about sexual health and the problems that they could face if they aren’t careful. No matter what age bracket they fall into, using a condom is a good idea. If both partners have been tested, are free from disease, and are completely monogamous, then this no longer becomes an issue. Until they get to that point, though, being careful is by far the best choice. Some STDs provide symptoms and you can tell that something’s wrong. Others are silent, but they are still doing damage and can still be passed on to other people.

Many STDs can be cured once you’re aware that you have one. Seeing your doctor and being tested is a good idea, especially if you’ve been having unprotected sex and think that you might be at risk. If you do have an STD, there are treatments for it. If it’s not one that can be cured, there are still medications you can take to help keep it from developing and getting worse. Just be sure you’re honest with any future partners, so they know you have an STD. Then, they’ll have to make the choice whether or not to have sex. There’s always some risk, even when using protection.

Finding out that you have a sexually transmitted infection is horrible moment for anyone who has the displeasure of finding out. You go through a lot of emotions and at best you hope you can find relief that the infection is treatable, or better yet, curable. What can make this finding out more difficult is that somewhere along the line you will have to inform current and past sexual partners of your unfortunate findings.

If you think for a second you do not have to tell them, you should rethink this. You must tell them because they have a right to know and protect their own sexual partners. So how do you tell them? This is a very difficult topic that can be handled in an adult way.

Just like a band aid is what they say. Be direct and upfront. Do not beat around the bush. No one appreciates being made to be toyed with important life news. Just tell them. If you were adult enough to have sex with someone you should be adult enough to handle the problems or complications that might arise from having sex. Just be upfront and tell them exactly what it is.

Do not sugar coat this news. This doesn’t mean you have to be mean but this does mean that you need to disclose all relevant information. Not sure what is relevant? If you aren’t sure, share it with them anyway and let them decide if it’s noteworthy. Let them know how you best figure you contracted the infection and what you are doing to fix the problem. If you are not sure then say that too.

Respect and accept their anger or sadness. This is a difficult time for anyone who finds out some personally embarrassing news. They may blame you and while you may not have known you have to know that it’s understandable to be upset and after time passes they may change their mind on their feelings. Don’t worry about that. You have done what you needed to do. You made the right choice about an uncomfortable situation.