A Bed Net

Here’s a basic question: When does sex begin? That may seem like a silly question, but do you know the answer? Few do, and certainly not anyone under the age of 18!

Does it begin when a couple begins holding hands? Or does it begin once an organ is inserted into a cavity?  Does it begin with tantalizing looks and the explicit exposure of skin in clothing bought at exorbitant prices, or does it begin with a hand down the trousers?

While these questions may simply be philosophical issues best left to Ph.d’s in a laboratory, they carry significant weight and implications to your life and a probably the health and well-being of your current or future family.

Few recognize today that sex can begin well before two individuals are cavorting in the back of a car. Perhaps it is classified as “allure” or “seduction.” In either case, it is best to be conscious of it and to acknowledge its ramifications. More than one innocent youth in the history of mankind has been lead astray by a pair of tight pants and a steamy look!

Understanding and acknowledgement of lewd behavior can save you time and energy. A person can be spared the inconvenience of an unwanted sexual encounter simply by recognizing what another is communicating with his or her clothing and attitude.  The rock n’roll culture of today has become so common-place, in fact, that most people don’t recognize that gyrating hips implies sexual activity!

If you can learn to spot behavior patterns which are precursors to sex, you can avoid a lot of complications and damaging behavior. You can learn to say “no” to a person well before you are vainly trying to remove his or her hands from your clothing. Let’s face it: once the hormones are a-boiling, it becomes more and more difficult to say you don’t want to have sex.  It’s better to recognize the signs of sex well in advance.

When someone has a serious illness, it can be difficult for them to show much interest in sex. Some of these people also have interest in sex, but they just cannot get their bodies to do what they want. In other words, they don’t have the strength of the ability to have sex, even if their mind is willing. They might also have to wait for clearance from their doctor so they can enjoy sexual activity again. If you find yourself in that situation, be patient. While sex is important to a lot of people, there are plenty of other pursuits that you can enjoy. Take up a hobby you can safely do and that will keep your mind occupied. Thinking about the sex you’re not having won’t help you feel better.

If your inability to have sex is temporary, you can look forward to the day when you’ll be able to enjoy it once again. If you’ve been told you’re simply not healthy enough to have sex – such can be the case with someone with a severe heart condition, for example – you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that part of your life is over. There are many other healthy ways to channel that energy, of course. If you feel depressed about the issue, seeing a counselor to talk about your feelings can be very beneficial. There are still people who think that seeking help is weak, but this is really not the case. It can help you find other pursuits that you can enjoy.

While sexual activity is a large part of life for some people, there are other people who choose to make it only a small part of their life – or they don’t have it in their life at all. These people, if a lack of sex is their choice, are generally happy and don’t have a problem with their lifestyle. They have plenty of other things in their life that keep them busy and fulfilled, and you can do things the same way, if serious illness ends your sex life.

Have you noticed the number of celebrities who are claiming to suffer from “sex addiction” these days?  “Sex addiction” has become a very popular excuse for many men’s failures to stay committed to one person in their lives, namely their wives.

And why not? Every magazine on the racks at the grocery stores screams “Sex! Sex! Sex!” Every magazine and online classes are telling women how to have a better time in the bedroom, how to “please” her man in 10,000 different ways.  Not to mention that each and every woman can learn how to do this in 30 seconds, of course.

Whether or not it’s true what the magazines are touting doesn’t even enter the equation for some reason.

So is everyone really surprised when it’s announced that Tiger Woods claims to be addicted to sex? Are the women around the country really surprised when a man who has everything, including an amazingly beautiful wife, can’t keep his hands off other women?

Not really. No one seems to be surprised by these stories anymore. Everyone seems to be disappointed when two people turn out to be faithfully and happily married.  Everyone seems disappointed when a wife remains faithful to her husband, or vice versa.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t it be that everyone is shocked when someone cheats? Or has society dropped so far off the morality radar that sex is no longer considered a personal, private activity?

Perhaps the nation should erect monuments to celebrities who have slept with great numbers of women. But then, if that was acceptable, the male celebrities wouldn’t be claiming “sex addiction,” would they?

So perhaps society’s sense of right and wrong regarding when to have sex is still intact. Perhaps the women across the country should consider it a good thing that celebrities are claiming “sex addiction,” since this means they still have some awareness that they have broken a promise of good faith with their wives.

From time to time, some people lose their interest in sex. There can be several reasons for this, and it does seem to happen to women more often than it does to men. No matter what age bracket you’re in, whether you have a current partner, or which gender you are, there are things you can do in order to get your sexual interest back. The first thing you should do is visit your doctor to rule out a medical problem. Some health problems can really kill your sex drive, and it’s important to rule them out before you do anything else. Once you’ve been given a clean bill of health physically, assess your mental health. Problems like depression and anxiety can also make you lose interest in sex.

If you’re depressed or having problems with anxiety or panic attacks, seeing a therapist for a few sessions may help you regain some perspective. There are also medications you can take to improve these conditions – although some of them can lower your sex drive. Be sure to steer clear of medications with this side effect, if you’re already struggling in that area. Also, talking with your partner can help. Maybe there’s something else in your relationship that’s causing you to feel too overwhelmed or tired for sex very often. Perhaps there’s a problem that you’re not dealing with, or something about your partner that’s turning you off to the idea of having sex.

While it might be difficult, the best thing you can do for your sexual relationship is to be open and honest with your partner. If there’s a large issue, this can be very hard to deal with. If there are smaller issues that your partner won’t see as significant, it might be hard for him or her to understand why you put such importance on something that might seem meaningless to someone else. Put those fears aside and choose to be open and honest, anyway. Once you talk things out, you may come to resolutions that will spark your interest in each other once again.

It’s no secret that there are plenty of places – both online and offline – where you can purchase products to enhance your experience in the bedroom. Is this a good idea, and will it improve the quality of your relationship? That depends on several factors. While some people enjoy using props and toys in their sexual experience, other people aren’t comfortable with that kind of play. What you like and what your partner likes have to be the most important issues. Don’t let other people’s opinions talk you into or out of what you feel most comfortable with. Toys are fine if you enjoy them, and you don’t need to use them if they make you uncomfortable. The most important thing is that you and your partner are both comfortable with what goes on in your bedroom.

When you’re both at ease and interested in showing love to one another and having fun, your experience can be very beautiful and exciting with or without anything extra added in. The best way to move toward this kind of experience is to be honest with yourself about what you’d like, and then encourage your partner to do the same. Then you can talk about it together and determine what areas you agree and don’t agree on. Even if you aren’t completely in agreement, it’s better to make sure that you know that before there are misunderstandings in the bedroom. Just be sure that you don’t try to pressure your partner into agreeing with your opinion. That’s one of the ways to create a disaster, instead of a fondly-remembered experience.

If you and your partner are uncomfortable talking about it, there may be deeper issues in your relationship. Sure, sex can be an embarrassing topic – but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re really comfortable with one another you should be able to talk about what you do and what you’d like to do in a mature and realistic way. You’ll be better able to communicate your desires that way, and that’s a winning situation for both of you.